Asian American Poet(s) - 'Drowning' by Native Gunz

But everyday she tell herself she was so ugly
Say her butt was too big, nose too flat
Skin too dark and lips too fat
All that blush and eyeshadow just to cover the fact
What was hiding under that was her stuck in a trap
Wanted to look like a model in a magazine
Didn't care if Martin Luther King had a dream
All she wanted was a reason for some self-esteem
And to think Christine was only seventeen
Started seeing white dudes to make her feel special
Started to take the self-hate to another level
Alcohol to weed, weed to cocaine
Whatever it would take so she could feel no pain
It was a cold game; her freedom never came
Pipe to her fat lips, needle to her vein
And with emotion silently, she said ready, aim
Looked in the mirror and put the heater to her brain

It was hard finding any Asian-American poetry that I could respond to. Native Gunz is a hip-hop group based out of Los Angeles and the Bay Area who since 2007 has split up :[

I have been following their music for some time now and thought it would be cool to use this particular song for this assignment. In this verse, Native Gunz tells a story about a mislead Asian American woman who, because of American media, is incredibly sensitive about her physical appearance. The self-hatred leads her into drug addiction and eventually suicide.

My Reflection:

I have heard stories similar to this one before, but they never featured an Asian American woman. I am not sure if this is based on a true story, but I am sure there are many Chinese, Japanese, Korean women out there who feel they need to look like someone else to be pretty or beautiful. For the most part, self-hatred among Asian American women, like the one in this verse, seems overlooked. In high school, many of my female classmates were relentless in their mission to look like the white women in magazines. I never thought twice about it. I didn't realize how serious this issue really is and that it could lead to some seriously unhealthy behaviors.

I have always found Asian women to be beautiful in their own way. I find it silly when women change their appearance to hide indication of their nationality. I'm glad the Native Gunz points this out in this song as well as others.

- Ernest